Moving back from Bangalore to Zurich
When I moved to Bangalore, I thought we will give it 2 years of sincere effort to make it work there. I really wanted to be able to settle in India, it would be much easier on the family. I thought I can give up hiking, and can continue running like so many other people do in Bangalore. Here is what I considered when deciding to move back to Zurich -
These were the 4 deal breakers for me -
1. My daily stress level is very high here. I was constantly worried about safety on the road, access to safe drinking water, food etc. That is probably not going to change unless I move to a smaller town.
(I mean the below as no offense to anyone, but its my personal observation for my own life).
2. I was disillusioned by the nostalgia of "Indian culture" in which I wanted to raise my kids. I was somewhat surprised by how much the lack of respect and value of women in Indian society bothered me. It bothered me even more as I have daughters. I was shocked at how ingrained is the feeling in society that a woman's value is less than man's value. It was a constant reminder in subtle remarks which I think I noticed only because I had lived in western society.
3. I was very much bothered by my increasing dependence on a "male" companion, I felt that my freedom was curbed. I had gotten used to being able to step out of home alone without thinking twice.
4. I realized that I did not want to raise city-kids. I wanted to raise outdoor-kids. I wanted them to grow up enjoying nature as oppose to fighting traffic.
I stressed a lot over 2 things when moving back -
1. How will we take care of our parents when they start needing us more.
2. My kids are going to grow up different from us, their language will change, they won't have same cultural references, and would be it fair to take them to a place where they will always be "different". Even if they spoke local language, went to local school, they will be different. Would we be able to handle those difference as they grow up. ... and worse if their lack of grounding going to drive them away from us, towards drugs and what not.
I don't have answer for either. In the end I thought if I am even a little bit happier every day in Zurich than I am in Bangalore, rest will work out. Maybe wishful thinking, maybe smart move, only time will tell. I am here 3 months already and life has started to make sense again. I am even more aware of the things I was missing when in Bangalore and I am thankful that I was able to return. I don't know what is in store in future, but the present looks 10X better.
These were the 4 deal breakers for me -
1. My daily stress level is very high here. I was constantly worried about safety on the road, access to safe drinking water, food etc. That is probably not going to change unless I move to a smaller town.
(I mean the below as no offense to anyone, but its my personal observation for my own life).
2. I was disillusioned by the nostalgia of "Indian culture" in which I wanted to raise my kids. I was somewhat surprised by how much the lack of respect and value of women in Indian society bothered me. It bothered me even more as I have daughters. I was shocked at how ingrained is the feeling in society that a woman's value is less than man's value. It was a constant reminder in subtle remarks which I think I noticed only because I had lived in western society.
3. I was very much bothered by my increasing dependence on a "male" companion, I felt that my freedom was curbed. I had gotten used to being able to step out of home alone without thinking twice.
4. I realized that I did not want to raise city-kids. I wanted to raise outdoor-kids. I wanted them to grow up enjoying nature as oppose to fighting traffic.
I stressed a lot over 2 things when moving back -
1. How will we take care of our parents when they start needing us more.
2. My kids are going to grow up different from us, their language will change, they won't have same cultural references, and would be it fair to take them to a place where they will always be "different". Even if they spoke local language, went to local school, they will be different. Would we be able to handle those difference as they grow up. ... and worse if their lack of grounding going to drive them away from us, towards drugs and what not.
I don't have answer for either. In the end I thought if I am even a little bit happier every day in Zurich than I am in Bangalore, rest will work out. Maybe wishful thinking, maybe smart move, only time will tell. I am here 3 months already and life has started to make sense again. I am even more aware of the things I was missing when in Bangalore and I am thankful that I was able to return. I don't know what is in store in future, but the present looks 10X better.
Comments
Post a Comment